Recently, members of the Sprudge editorial team were reminiscing on the Schmuck of the Week, a semi-regular feature series from the early days of the site. It was full of articles of people putting foul things in coffee, a barista getting punched in the face for getting an order wrong, and other such schmucky activities, primarily as a vehicle to run increasingly groan-worthy headline puns. We ultimately moved on from the series for a variety of reasons, including: it was all a little mean; it was never very popular; we are older, wiser, better people now; and one time someone complained to us very sincerely about how it was preventing them from seeking gainful employment.
That is, until today, when we encountered an act of schmuckery so synonymous with the term—Yiddish for “contemptible person”—that we had to revive the series. And so, for the first time since November 2013, there is a new Schmuck of the Week: joke-stealing Twitter account Coffee Folk.
A little background info on Coffee Folk: they are “a collective of folk living the coffee life,” per their Twitter account, currently sitting with a healthy 55.9K followers. They have an Instagram, but with only 18 followers and only six posts, it’s safe to say they are primarily Twitter based.
Coffee Folk was first brought to our attention for this tweet:
Coffee is so confident. It’s a wet ass bean and it’s like “I’m worth $5.75 and you need me bitch”
— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 25, 2018
It’s a good joke. I laughed. But then…
Coffee is so confident. It’s a wet ass bean and it’s like “I’m worth $5.75 and you need me bitch”
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 25, 2018
That is literally just a copy and paste. It would actually be easier to press the retweet button. To date, the tweet is still up even though they are getting absolutely roasted for it by other Twitters users. But wait, there’s more.
my body: wow I could really use some water
me: alright, so another large iced coffee?
— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 24, 2018
…is literally the exact same as this joke from an hour and fourteen minutes before:
my body: wow I could really use some water
me: alright, so another large iced coffee?
— American Nomad (@coffee_n_mtns) July 22, 2018
Sometimes Coffee Folk likes to punch up the joke a little. Check out this nervy bit of end-of-days humor:
If you can’t drink a hot coffee on a hot day then you are weak and will never survive the apocalypse
— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 20, 2018
They thought removing “zombie” would throw us off the scent. It did not.
If you can't drink hot coffee on a hot day, then you are weak and will never survive the zombie apocalypse.
— Trey Morgan (@TreyMorgan) June 14, 2018
And they reeeeeaaalllly like Death Wish Coffee, whom Coffee Folk has “borrowed” from liberally on several different occasions.
Thank you coffee for making the perky, sarcastic, foul-mouthed person I am today
— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 29, 2018
Thank you coffee for making the perky, sarcastic, foul-mouthed person I am today
— Death Wish Coffee (@DeathWishCoffee) July 28, 2018
RT if you love coffee
Like if you're wrong— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 28, 2018
RT if you love coffee
Like if you're wrong— Death Wish Coffee (@DeathWishCoffee) July 27, 2018
Can't tell if I need coffee, nap, or exorcism
— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) July 27, 2018
Can't tell if I need coffee, nap, or exorcism
— Death Wish Coffee (@DeathWishCoffee) July 25, 2018
94% of people drink coffee
The remaining 6% cry a lot— Coffee Folk (@coffeefoIk) May 8, 2018
94% of people drink coffee
The remaining 6% cry a lot— Death Wish Coffee (@DeathWishCoffee) May 8, 2018
And maybe this whole Daniel G. thing has me looking for conspiracy theories where there are none, but what if Death Wish Coffee IS Coffee Folk? It seems unlikely. What’s more likely is that whoever is behind the account saw the Insta-fame Josh “The Fat Jewish” Ostrovsky got for stealing jokes and thought, “Hey! I could do that… but for coffee.”
Not since the heyday of Dane Cook has joke theft been so blatant, but the moral of the story here folks is if you have to steal jokes—or “aggregate content” or whatever—don’t do it on a text-based (and easily searchable) platform. Most especially one that has a retweet button. Unless of course you want to end up like Coffee Folk, a schmuck so schmucky it has given us due cause to revive a long-dead platform: The Sprudge.com Coffee Schmuck of the Week.
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
The post Schmuck Of The Week: Coffee Folk Is A Twitter Joke Thief appeared first on Sprudge.
Source: Coffee News
